I love my life. I really, really do. I have an amazing husband that I love so much, three great, healthy kids, the greatest job ever. I literally have nothing I should complain about. But every so often I just wake up in a funk. Most of the time it involves me being in a mood about my weight and my body. Today was no exception. I feel like I constantly live in limbo land regarding my body, consisting of dieting, frustration, and acceptance.
When I am in the dieting mode it always starts out wonderfully. I feel very in control, I am not bored with diet food, I am doing awesome. Then after the same 5 lbs are lost, I back pedal. I start hating my workouts. I just want some damn junk food. I just want it to be easier.
So then I fall off the wagon which leads to the frustration. Why can I not stick with this, why is it so hard, why do I hate exercise so. I beat myself up about how lazy I am and my lack of willpower. I know how to do this, I've done it before, so why do I keep ending up here.
Then I try to very hard to get to acceptance. I try to accept that I am human and will have bad days, weeks, even months or years. That my body can and will change, and that is ok to be where I am for right now. So tomorrow I will try again to get back on the health wagon for the 500th time and hope it sticks around a little longer than the last time.
