Our family came to a huge milestone this week with Jim going under the scalpel (really it is a laser) of a very nice urologist for the "snip" as we call it in our house. We were all anxious all week. Jim for obvious reasons, mine were a bit different.
Of course, I was concerned about my sweet husband who hates doctors and all things medical. I was especially concerned because they decided to put him under anesthesia for the procedure. What I thought was going to be a quick 30 minute office procedure, turned out to be a 3 hour trip to the surgery center with my three kids in tow. They behaved beautifully as they always do when we are in a pinch, but they asked a million questions which were kind of tough to answer. Jim was absolutely fine, with almost no pain at all. Just two tiny, and I mean tiny, spots on the "area" with two stitches. He will be officially sterile in about three months.
Which brings me to my other concern. I was sorta of sad to be done with our baby making days. Don't get me wrong, at this point I am sure that I don't want to have any more babies. Being pregnant at this point sounds like some kind of prolonged torture and Evan is three. We don't have to worry about anything infant anymore. Our house isn't at all childproofed. We have no more baby paraphernalia like strollers or diapers. We let our kids play outside alone, we sleep in on the weekend, we can tell them to grab their shoes and we can go anywhere. It is a freedom that I have waited on for 8 years and I love we are at that stage. However, in my heart I ache a bit for that 4th kid that we shoulda, coulda had. I desperately begged Jim for us to have one more for almost a year. I started right after Evan turned one. He always did a great job convincing me all the reasons why our family was great the way it was, all of the reasons were always true. I had no real reasons to have another baby, I just still felt like I wanted to have one more child in my life to love. It wasn't that I was holding out for a girl, although that would've be wonderful. I really just felt in my heart that I should have one more.
So with the snip, those dreams of a 4th are officially over. Doesn't really matter though since God has already blessed me with the three most amazing human beings to love and care for. Who really deserves to ask for more after you get that??
